Flying Spaghetti Monster
I haven't posted about this, but I have been touched by His Noodly Appendages. We are descended from the Flying Spaghetti Monster. The religion is known as Pastafarianism.
I firmly believe that it should be taught alongside evolution and intelligent design. I don't think you can give me any evidence that we aren't descended from the Flying Spaghetti Monster. In fact, just as people see the Virgin Mary on a toaster, I believe I see the Flying Spaghetti Monster everywhere, not just in spaghetti. I saw Him behind my computer all the time! All the cables clearly form images of the Flying Spaghetti Monster Himself!
We are directed to say "Ramen" at the end of every prayer. We must wear pirate suits to prevent earthquakes because it has been shown that there is a direct correlation between the decline of pirates and global warming. Global warming is not caused by increased carbon dioxide level because animals respire carbon dioxide all the time. Are you saying we should stop breathing? I'd say that all the volcanic reactions around the world create more carbon dioxide and pollution in the air than the millions of cars driving in America and China combined. Moreover, the mileage of these cars are highly efficient. The fact that the mileage has stayed at 20 mpg shows that we are using every gallon of gas efficiently. The hybrid cars from Toyota and Honda doesn't wring any more mileage out of the same gas, they simply use the braking system to store energy. As far as I know, the earth hasn't warm in proportion to the exponentially growing number of cars on the road. Some scientists claim that the ocean is absorbing the carbon dioxide and that we may be reaching the limit of CO2 that the ocean can hold. That's patently ridiculous, how can ocean hold air? You already see that when you open a can of soda that air must be given off in the forms of bubbles and fizzes.
The Holy Bible (as yet unwritten), which is the spoken words of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, states that global warming is happening because of the decline of the population of pirates.
The Onion explains Intelligent Falling as an alternative to the law of gravitation. I submit that the law of gravity as Newton describes cannot explain why and how the Flying Spaghetti Monster is able to fly, just as angels can fly and the pearly gate doesn't fall down to earth due to gravitation pull.
May His Noodly Appendages be with you.
I firmly believe that it should be taught alongside evolution and intelligent design. I don't think you can give me any evidence that we aren't descended from the Flying Spaghetti Monster. In fact, just as people see the Virgin Mary on a toaster, I believe I see the Flying Spaghetti Monster everywhere, not just in spaghetti. I saw Him behind my computer all the time! All the cables clearly form images of the Flying Spaghetti Monster Himself!
We are directed to say "Ramen" at the end of every prayer. We must wear pirate suits to prevent earthquakes because it has been shown that there is a direct correlation between the decline of pirates and global warming. Global warming is not caused by increased carbon dioxide level because animals respire carbon dioxide all the time. Are you saying we should stop breathing? I'd say that all the volcanic reactions around the world create more carbon dioxide and pollution in the air than the millions of cars driving in America and China combined. Moreover, the mileage of these cars are highly efficient. The fact that the mileage has stayed at 20 mpg shows that we are using every gallon of gas efficiently. The hybrid cars from Toyota and Honda doesn't wring any more mileage out of the same gas, they simply use the braking system to store energy. As far as I know, the earth hasn't warm in proportion to the exponentially growing number of cars on the road. Some scientists claim that the ocean is absorbing the carbon dioxide and that we may be reaching the limit of CO2 that the ocean can hold. That's patently ridiculous, how can ocean hold air? You already see that when you open a can of soda that air must be given off in the forms of bubbles and fizzes.
The Holy Bible (as yet unwritten), which is the spoken words of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, states that global warming is happening because of the decline of the population of pirates.
Here is a letter beseeching the Kansas School Board to include Pastafarianism in the curriculum.Post your sightings of the FSM in Flickr.
The Onion explains Intelligent Falling as an alternative to the law of gravitation. I submit that the law of gravity as Newton describes cannot explain why and how the Flying Spaghetti Monster is able to fly, just as angels can fly and the pearly gate doesn't fall down to earth due to gravitation pull.
May His Noodly Appendages be with you.
posted by Alan at August 22, 2005
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